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Raising a Relational Baby: Even the celibate are creating lifeBY: Guest | Category: Relationships | Post Date: 2010-02-04
Can you remember the last time you held a baby? Think about what it was like: the fear, the wonder, the expectation, and the sense of responsibility. For parents, each of these emotions is amplified beyond anything someone who is not a parent can imagine (take it from many parents who, as is the case with us all, were once non-parents). Someone has described being a parent and watching your child grow and live as being like taking your heart out of your chest and letting it walk around. There is a creative story that compares the relationship between two people as creating a relational baby. No matter how deep your relationship is with a person - it could be your grocer or your spouse, the DMV worker or your siblings - a relational child is formed with each person. This child has a life of its own. It may partially resemble the two people in the relationship, but is somehow a combination of the both of them. Like a real child, this relational baby needs nurturing. If you ignore it, it will fail to thrive and may in fact die. This baby has different needs than you do; it can't live on food and drink alone. It needs attention, affection, relationship, and love. Another aspect to this relational baby is how it is viewed by the people in the relationship. You might notice the baby's incessant need for attention (after all, your girlfriend has been asking for flowers more than your wallet can afford). Your girlfriend may notice the baby's anemic color (she is feeling somewhat ignored now that you are working two jobs to help make ends meet). But both of you are tending to the same relationship - the same baby - you just have different perspectives on it. The analogy of a baby is helpful in reminding us to care for our relationships. We can see someone every day or even live with them and still forget to spend the quality and quantity time nourishing the relationship. Everyone has different ways that they give and receive love, and if you neglect to meet the needs of your friend or loved one, you risk leaving them anemic; your relational baby may weaken or get sick. But the other thing that this analogy helps us with is the reminder that relationships are alive. They grow and develop. They can become all-encompassing or forgotten. Even if you have a parting of ways with someone, there is still a remnant of that relationship with each of you, but it is broken. The first lesson to be learned from this analogy may seem obvious: relationships need care in order to thrive. But we didn't really need to read this article to understand that. The more important part is to remember what happens when a relationship ends. Whether it is a painful end (such as due to divorce, break up or death) or a good end (like moving to live somewhere else, changing jobs, or completing school), there will be a period of transition. By remembering that you and the other person will each be left with a remnant of your relationships, you can take the time you need to process the change and to honor and value the relationship even when you don't see that person anymore. That is perhaps one of the best things about relational babies, they stay with you and remind you of the good times, the lessons, and the growth you have only because of the relationship you had with the other person. Article Source: http://www.writearticles.org About Author / Additional Info: Additional Articles: * Teaching your Kids How to Spend and Save Wisely * Foods Like Kefir Keep You Healthy Does this article violate or infringe on your copyright ? It is a violation of our terms for authors to submit content which they did not write and claim it as their own. If this article infringes on your copyrights, then use our Contact us form with the detailed proof of infringement along with the offending article's title, URL and writer name. If you do not hear back from us then contact us again in another 10 days. Thank you. Comments on this article: (0 comments so far) * Additional comments are now closed for this article *
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