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Big Blue Smurfs and a Colonel With a Scarred Face? It's All Bound to Go WrongBY: Alessandro Saetta Vinci | Category: Entertainment | Submitted: 2010-07-22 09:22:41
If I were a public personality my mailbox would be full of death threats. This I can tell you for sure. I love arguing, and this has been largely shown in my lifetime. It can be vouched by a number of friends and girlfriends I've frequented, or frequent to date. I love finding the flaw, and there is always inevitably a flaw as big as a planet, in everything. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not one of those "always against everything" people. Everyone loves Ferraris, so do I. There are a number of things, musicians, movies, and so on that are appreciated by a vast amount of people and I agree. I love my BlackBerry, I've nothing against Brad Pitt, I loved the Ocean's saga, Wonderwall is one of my favourite songs of all times. I entirely understand the charm of Johnny Depp, Jude Law, Colin Farrell, Channing Tatum and Leonardo DiClooney. As well as George Caprio. And although I don't think Angelina Jolie is really THAT good looking, she looks too plasticy for my taste, I think Megan Fox, Charlize Theron, Mila Kunis, Aline Nakashima and Olga Kurylenko are beautiful women. And I think most men will agree on this. As well as most men will agree on the fact that Sarah Jessica Parker has got a very cool name but looks like a horse. There is however one recent phenomenon I utterly and completely loathe. That is the movie Avatar. Now, I usually don't talk about movies. Partly because the luckily small amount of people who are "experts" of films and cinema I know are idiots and I wouldn't want to be mistaken for one, and partly because I've got a simple taste when it comes to films. Guns, explosions, fightings, cars, hot women, preferably naked, and I'm happy. I don't know if you've ever experienced the unpleasant woe of meeting or speaking to a person who specializes in movies or is a film critic. Well I have, and this blithering idiot, no other word for him, told me that, hang on to your trousers for this: Will Smith is NOT good actor; Hitch is NOT a simple, clever and pleasant film; Tom Hanks is NOT a great actor; any movie, indiscriminately, that lasts longer than 2 hours and a half is a masterpiece rather than a boring nuisance that could've lasted half as long; and, here comes the big one, Marion Cotillard, the best thing ever to come out of France, is NOT attractive. Trust me on this, talk to any keen film critic and he'll tell you that the best actor ever to perform is Nora Miao or something and it doesn't matter what your favourite film is, he's going to say it is rubbish. But I digress. Well, Avatar. I know two facts about this movie for a starter. First fact is that it is the highest grossing movie ever, and the second fact is that this is completely irrelevant. A publication about films and cinema recently wrote in one of its issues that although Avatar did raise a huge amount of money, in terms of people who actually saw the movie it ranks somewhere about 17th place. Somewhere considerably below Gone with the wind, E.T., Star Wars, Titanic etc. Why? Well it's very simple. Avatar has been seen mainly in 3D. Do you want to know what's the price of a ticket for a 3D film, just like Avatar, at a cinema in Leicester Square in London? Roughly 26 pounds. So while, for instance, Titanic made almost 2 billion by selling tickets at about 5-6 £/$ each, in 1997, Avatar made 2 billion by selling tickets at 26 £/$ each, in 2010. I think you can see the point here. I might also add that the plot is heavily plagiarized from a collection of other movies, that it is almost unbelievably predictable and banal, and that, if it hadn't been for the cool and vicious Navy colonel guy with the scars on his face who made the movie slightly less boring for me, I would've almost certainly killed somebody. Yes I know, I agree, it is eye-candy, eye catching and visually perfect but so is the new Ferrari 458 Italia, or Famke Janssen or Gisele Bündchen, or my girlfriend for that matter. But no one seems to have made much fuss about these things and people I mentioned. And yes I know, there is no way I can't convince you that Avatar is nothing more than a pathetic cheap American romance that copied, badly, Dances with Wolves, Pocahontas and many other movies. And hardly anyone will probably care anyway, which is exactly one of the reasons why I feel like I must say this. Avatar is a bad, bad, bad way of spending your money. Really bad. Naturally my girlfriend disagrees, she told me that Avatar represents the "love story that all girls dream about but none will ever have" and I responded, quite sharply and cynically, that "no girl will ever have that story they dream about until they keep on spending their money on stupid films like this instead of just going out with the guys they like and try building the love story of their dreams, for real". But she said I can't understand. Which, oddly, is the answer she always provides at the end of every discussion about anything. Now, if you don't mind, I just bought a DVD with Steven Seagal in it. So I'm going to watch that instead. Hopefully somebody's Adam's apple will be ripped off. Article Source: http://www.writearticles.org/ About Author / Additional Info: Comments on this article: (0 comments so far)
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