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How to Recover From Divorce by a Guy That's Been There.BY: Nathan Olds | Category: Health | Submitted: 2010-12-22 16:03:55
Yep, I've been there, along with millions of others, unfortunately or fortunately depending on the outlook. I walked the path through the inferno of pain. I treaded the gauntlet of depression and desperation. I endured the emotional torment of rejection and heartache that can come with only one thing: Divorce. It was rough, and I'm sure that few would disagree on that. However, depending on the circumstances, things can be much harder for you than they were for your ex-spouse. If you feel like your heart is sitting on a frying pan then I know exactly what you're going through. You see, I was the one that really got burned in my divorce. I put everything I had into my marriage only for my ex to feel that it wasn't good enough and move on. In the end, she walked. Everybody could tell their own side of the story, but in my mind, I wasn't a bad guy. I wasn't one of those dudes that cheated on my spouse, spent exuberant amounts with my buddies at the bar neglecting my marriage, or even had problems overspending. I was the contrary to be honest. I was the guy doing dishes and cooking dinners. I was the guy working two jobs to make ends meet. That said, I was still home every night and faithful in everyway. I suppose that was why it hurt as much as it did. You see, I put everything I had into what was my first marriage. I tried to be the best I could be, but in the end I was rejected, cheated on, and left. It was the perfect storm for my self-esteem, as I believe many divorces are. Point is though, I found a way out. I found a way to feel better about myself and my circumstances and was able to move on. I found a way to heal and it didn't take 2-10 years as many would have you believe. Some say that the secret to recovering from divorce is in journal entries and time. Though both help, the secret to healing is actually found in making a choice. It's not a choice to think positively or to look on the bright side of things. It's not a choice to forgive your ex, though that is also good. It is the choice to not be scared anymore. It's the choice to not let fear dictate and destroy your life anymore. Yep, that's the secret. Right now, if you hurt inside like I did I can assure that the pain is there because you are scared. That idea may seem over-simplistic, but I assure you that's it. You're scared that you weren't good enough for your ex and that's why they cheated and left, you're scared that something is wrong with you, you're scared that you'll never find love again or be alone forever, and the list goes on and on. That said, the key to feeling good is found in overcoming the things that scare you. Fear is the power behind depression, heartache, desperation, worry, anxiety, and all forms of emotional pain. Courage is the power behind hope, faith, optimism, and in truth, happiness itself. To recover from your divorce requires just the understanding that fear is why you hurt inside and a choice to not let that fear control your feelings and life. To get started feeling good today repeat the words "fear will not dictate and control my life" a thousand times. Do it until you believe it. In the end, you will be surprised at how just finding a little courage can remove your heart from the frying pan. The more courage you find the more the pain goes away and the sooner you can put your life back together. I promise and I know. Not because I went to school to be a counselor, but because I've actually been there myself. Article Source: http://www.writearticles.org/ About Author / Additional Info: I not so much of a writer as just a guy that likes to write and hope that whatever wisdom I gain in life can be imparted to others. Please visit my website for my story of divorce recovery at http://www.heartonafryingpan.com Comments on this article: (0 comments so far)
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