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Those Damn Eco-Mentalists.BY: Alessandro Saetta Vinci | Category: Technology | Submitted: 2010-03-03 11:30:20
If you're over 10 but under 177 years old. If you can read or write, or both. If you watched tv or read a book or listened to a Coldplay song, or read a comic book, or overheard a conversation between two human beings or paid attention to an advertisement of commercial. Well, if you did any of these things over the last past 20 years you've heard or read about the world over heating. If your fridge doesn't work properly without any electricity you will die. If you drive a car that has more than 1 bhp you will die. This is message we get. I take for granted that those economists and politicians who say that are clever, so here's what I guess: -Earth will explode -The sun will explode -Ice will melt -No Japanese tourist will ever be able again to step foot in Venice cause it'll be drowned by water. -We'll turn into mutants with 3 ears, 7 mouths and 14 billions eyes. Sad, isn't it? Or is it? Not long ago, a bunch of funny men met up in Copenhagen and many many things were solved. It has been said, once again, that it's all our fault. We drive old, dirty, big and polluting cars. Somebody's trying to do something by encouraging people to walk on Sundays. Which is like saying to a fat bloke "eat cheeseburgers and steaks during the week and have a small salad on sunday" Not that bright, really. The problem is: cars produce too much carbon dioxide. At the end of the 70s the eco-people stated that polluting agents coming from cars made boys from Brighton be born with 2 heads. So the easiest and stupidest solution came: catalyst. Invented in 1950 by a French bloke and used in 1973 by an American, this "thing" served to transform nitrogen oxide into oxygen, and carbon monoxide into carbon dioxide. This idea made everyone happy, everyone but Margaret Thatcher, who believed that carbon dioxide was not good for the environment. No one paid attention, and the former prime minister was labeled as "crazy". 30 years after that we are told that carbon dioxide is not good for us. Something has got to be done. Yes, yes I heard! Someone just said "hybrid". It is a good idea. Hybrid cars. They work using an electric engine which functions together with a traditional petrol engine. So theoretically at low speed you just need the electric engine to run. Excellent idea, if it wasn't for the fact that the very minimum throttle pressure requires the petrol engine, anyway. And still, the hybrid engine requires brakes usage to run. Which requires petrol. So what's the solution? Well the best idea is to get a cow and drive it. But what if you want a faster and more practical means of transport? We've got something for you! Entirely electric trains or buses, or the geewiz. Which is something really interesting, if you're 734 years old. They're not really practical, they're out of "fuel" after a few miles, they're ugly, heavy, uncomfortable, but their biggest flaw is they're much a salad; very good for your health, but you'd rather have a juicy steak. They're honest, but you can't see how a regular person could say "I want one!". Luckily however, there's a place where everything is possible. Dreams come to reality. California. Some chap from over there came up with a car that's entirely electric, good looking, fast, economical, and practical. It's called the Tesla Roadster, it is a convertible based on the Lotus Elise, therefore it is beautiful. What's more, filling the tank of your car requires what? 50-60 pounds? Well this one requires only 7 pounds. The biggest drawback of a normal electric cars as big as a mailbox is that they run out of fuel just after 50 miles or so and they're as fast as a duck. The Tesla runs on the same batteries that your laptop has, only it has 6851 of them. So it has a range of 400 miles. Not bad, right? Yes, there are some small problems. Adding together all those batteries does make it a little bit heavy, and affects slightly the handling, but under every other aspect it is astonishing. No. It's not. Even if it was really capable of running 400 miles without ever stopping, it will be no easy job to refuel it. Filling the tank of a regular car takes about 2 minutes, filling the "tank" of the Tesla with a normal light socket requires 16 hours! So Florence to Milan and back takes about 3 days! At this point eco-idiots will say that this is a price worth paying for this technological marvel, but where does that electricity come from? Mh... Of course who hasn't been to Holland, if you have, you will know that there are many windmills there, producing power, so we could use those to recharge our Tesla! Charging a Tesla with a windmill requires.....25 days! Assuming it's windy, which is something that unless you live in Rhodes, it's not sure. So possibly the best option is to own TOW Teslas, so you could use one, while the other is recharging. It's not an economical solution, the Tesla costs about 90.000 pounds (100.000 euros). Still, you have that kind of money to spend on a Tesla, you're doing the world a favour, are you not? Yes. You are. It is entirely produced in California so the production costs and pollution are not that bulky. Although it must be said that the body is made in France and must be sent to the US to be assembled. And the airbags and windshield come from Britain. And the dashboard comes from Britain. And the tires too. And the suspensions. The gearbox comes from Detroit. And the brakes from Germany. So how do you think all this parts are sent to where they have to be put together? What kind of means of transport do you think they need to carry them around? What kind of power do you think they need to be built? Here's your answer. Lots and lots and lots of oil.... 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